


Harry’s Serenade

by hdremix_mod



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 01:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3709359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hdremix_mod/pseuds/hdremix_mod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the question is not why we were born, instead it is who are we here for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harry’s Serenade

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** ['That Picture'](http://alekina.tumblr.com/post/110998951140/he-wants-to-laugh-at-the-irony-he-really-does-as) is a work of and belongs to [alekina](http://alekina.tumblr.com/). The general non-profit, fair-use disclaimer for Harry Potter fanfiction and fanart applies.
> 
>  **Author's Notes** : This is my first long English fiction. It would not have been completed without Snowgall, who is really kind and edited so much faulty grammar, and without Chertam, my lovely sister, who betaed the second half of the story. I can’t say it is entirely my own story because Snowgall and Chertam rewrote so many sentences.  
> Thank you Ploy, my friend for rewriting some sentences.  
> Thank you alekina, for drawing that pic!  
> Thank you hd-remix mods, for giving me extra days and making this fest happen!  
> And thank you anyone who is reading this story! Perhaps I should have written it in Thai instead of English. But I wanted to challenged myself, and I wanted to participate in this fest.

_17th September_

I never wrote a diary.

And I wouldn't have if my healer, Jessica, hadn't told me that I have to. She told me that it is the best way to keep track and remember my daily routine. Maybe someday it will be revealed as 'Draco Malfoy and his life'.

While I'm writing, my green-eyed lavender dog named 'Murphy' is sitting and playing near me. Murphy is my best and only friend.

In nearly two months I have not heard anything about the one who brought Murphy for me on my 23rd birthday and slept beside me in this empty bed. There are a lot of moments I think I did wrong, but I know it was the best way to save him.

I think I have to stop writing, my eyes are drowning.

 

_19th September_

Today my parents visited me. Father asked me when I will move from this fucking flat and I told him I have no idea.

It isn't a luxury flat, but it’s necessary for working because it’s located in the center of city. And it may seem like no beauty to him, but it is nearly a palace for a muggle. I understand why father wants me to move out - not only because of the location but for another reason as well.

I should move out, but my heart won't allow it. Sometimes it’s so bloody bad that reason and heart are against each other. The worst is wondering why I do as my heart wants instead of my brain. 

I decorated the room with light green wallpaper. Next to my bed is a muggle television - I don't know how to use it, but I remember people acted weirdly in that box. However, I have found it is funny to insult them.

Beside it I have a large wooden bookshelf that holds many books. One of the books I am proudest of is a fiction series called _'Casida and her lonely life'_ , the story of a girl who tries to be the best witch in her school.

Oh, Murphy is barking, I have to go.

 

_25th September_

I quit my job today. Actually to say ‘quit’ isn't correct because I work as a freelance pianist. Do you think it sounds funny that the scary Slytherin wizard Draco Malfoy has become a pianist? 

I had thought if my parents were okay, I would like to work with music. I love music more than anything, including Quidditch, winning against _him_ and potions. I got an O on my Music NEWTS, with the comment: _'You have brilliant talent; I can't wait to see you as a premier pianist!'_

Oh, I want to see that, too.

But my dreams of being a premier pianist have gone, gone, gone.

I know I don't have enough time. I planned to write the best song ever. I'm trying, guys!

Okay, let's talk about something else.

2-3 days ago I took Murphy to work, and the worst thing was, I saw _him_. He was talking with the little Weasley who was his lover in sixth year. In addition to her there was Miss Know-it-all and her bastard boyfriend.

It wasn't a good sign. I guarantee Murphy can remember her old owner.

'Murphy, let's walk that way', I said, and dragged her rope. Out of the blue, she ran quickly and bumped into Potter. 

'Murphy!' he said in astonishment. I couldn't think of anything to say, no perfect idea for insulting him and his friend, so I put on my Gryffindor face and walked straight up to him.

'Malfoy'

'YOU!' the mudblood and the Weaselette shouted, their faces not hiding their anger, hatred and disgust. The impression that I had given them 2 months ago was likely the same impression of me they still had. Thanks!

I glared at Potter while his hand was playing with Murphy's head. He didn't say anything, but his eyes showed clearly how much he hated me. The cold iceberg in his green emerald eyes was a sword cutting my heart. It took as much courage as I had to stand straight and be cold to him. 

'Give me my dog, Potter' I said coldly. Potter glared at me, his smile insulting.

'Oh I don't think it’s your dog. Actually it's _my_ dog, I paid for her myself.'

I swear if my body was larger than him and not so skinny, white, and pale as paper, I would have hit his face and kicked him a million times, ending with throwing him to his grave near his parents. 

'Oh I think you gave her to me, Potter.'

'I don't think I did give her to you, and why I should I have given her to someone who acts like a bloody bastard?'

I opened my mouth in an ‘O’. I felt as if my tears would get out soon. I couldn't let him see my weakness. I would rather die than show my weakness to him.

'Fine! She's yours, get out of my way and stay in your world with your mudblood and poor Weaselette.'

I heard his voice calling me ‘Malfoy’ and Murphy’s hopeless barking after I walked out.

The last time he called me _Malfoy_ was when we broke up.

 

_26th September_

It is 2 am.

I can't sleep so I got up to write in my diary.

I miss Murphy's voice, her fluffy touch and her green eyes the same as Potter’s.

I don't know what I should do. My mind is untidy and all my memories of when he and I were together flash back. I tried to STOP them but it didn't work.

I remember that I'm a morning person while he always woke up later than me. One memory I love is when I would get dressed, walk in to the living room, and play the piano. After I had played about half the song, there would be a warm hand put on my shoulder, and he would hug me from behind. He would put his face in his hands and listen to the song silently. The warmth from his hug and his breath at my neck always made me flustered: shy but happy. 

Sometimes, if he woke up before me, he would make my favorite meal. And when we went to bed we hugged each other under the blanket.

I touch the paper; it is wet and some words are hard to read because of tears.

I miss him.

I miss him so much.

I want us together but I know it can never be.

And I can't let us be together.

 

_29th September_

I don't want to die.

I have about ten months to live.

Jessica still hasn't found any research that can help me, and all of my research is useless.

Nobody can get past it.

They die as their body systems die one by one; they lose their magic entirely in 3 months, and in the end their body has gone with the wind, leaving no evidence showing they ever existed before.

I don't want to die.

I DONT WANT TO.

 

_10th October_

It took me a long time before I could write again.

Guess what? Guess where I am?

I'm in St Mungo’s. 

Ahhhh.

When I woke up, Potter was sleeping near me and holding my hand, for no reason I could understand. I have lost my mind; why is he here? Why is he holding my hand? What happened?

He woke up; his eyes were red and dark. To be honest, I thought he might cry. 

The first words he said were, 'Why didn't you tell me, Draco? Why didn't you tell me anything?'

I blinked. What was he talking about?

'Don't say you don't understand, Draco. You clearly understand what I am talking about!'

His voice was nearly a scream. I closed my eyes suddenly and covered my eyes with my hands. Oh Merlin! Please don't think I'm coward. The whole world knows that when the great Harry Potter is furious he is bloody scary.

He took a long breath. I couldn't see him now; I would have thought he didn't exist, that he hadn’t stayed here.

'Look, Draco. I'm sorry that I make you afraid, but... can you get it? Can you understand that I can't let you die without doing anything? And that is the reason why I'm so bloody angry with you. Because you broke up with me because of this stupid fucking illness and didn't tell me anything.'

My body turned cold and white. I turned my head away and said, 'Get out'

'What?'

'I said get out!'

Without any caution, I took the flower vase on the table and threw it at him. I grabbed anything, including my diary notebook. He tried to come to me but I screamed as wildly as animal and cried.

He was calming me and locked my hand so I could not attack him. I cried, screamed sharply, but some words were getting out from deep within my heart without me thinking.

I can't remember it all. A lot of it was crazy and hard to understand, but I remember one thing I said.

'I don't want to die, Harry. I don't'

Then the healer walked in and dosed me with a sleeping potion. When I woke up again, the room was in darkness. I heard somebody outside talking seriously, so I sneaked and eavesdropped on them from the door.

'To be honest, Harry, nobody in history has recovered from it. It was a curse illness; no way to heal.'

I think it was Weasley.

'I know. I asked Draco's healer yesterday and she told me the same as you. But can you understand that I can't let him die? I don't want him to die.'

A long silence.

'How long can he stay, Harry?'

A long silence again after Granger's question.

'At most, ten months.'

Harry's voice was full of sorrow and grief. My heart hurt as if someone had put a knife in it and began cutting.

'Well Harry, I will try my best to solve it. Ron and I will help you and Draco as best as we can'

I couldn't speak. They would help me? Why? It would be reasonable if they let me die and laughed happily at my funeral. 

'But I don't want you to assume we will find the way for him to survive. I would like to ask one thing, and please be honest.'

'What is it?'

'If he has to die, what will you do with him during the last days of his life? You don't need to answer me now, but I think this is a question that you will have to ask yourself.'

'I...'

I can imagine Harry's face now. His eyes would be rolling left to right, his mouth would be open, shut, open, shut and his mind would be... 

I didn't listen till the end. I went to the bed and closed my eyes, pretending to be sleeping. 

_'If he has to die, what will you do with him during the last days of his life?'_

What would he do with me?

Not a hard question, surely, finding the way to help me as a hero.

God, I hate him.

Before writing today, I looked at the mirror and saw six stiches on my forehead I got because of my accident at Ministry of Magic. I think I must have fainted and he or another Auror sent me to the hospital. Somehow he discovered my illness and thinks it is the reason why I broke up with him. Because I will die.

10 points to Gryffindor.

 

_15th October_

Five days have passed after Potter and his bloody friend visited me, I think he gets a better idea to go on without me because he can’t stay for losing his important person again, he had lost many persons such as his parents who died to protect him, his godfather who is my relative, including his beautiful owl that was his best friend when he had no one else.

I really happy to know when he walked away.

It would be good for us, for everyone.

Just forget me and walk away, or think I never exist.

But I can’t understand why my tears are dropping while I’m writing.

 

_16th October_

Alas, I haven’t slept yet.

It’s 1.45 am.

Another side of the windows from the bed where I’m sitting, the moon is shining on(in) the black night sky. I prefer the moon than the sun because (the sun’s light is shining than we can touch ช่วงนี้แอบงง..), moreover, we can’t look at it straight, but, the moon’s light isn’t. The moon light is mild and mystery. Sometimes I took a nap for watching moon only with him who says that my hair is as pretty as the moonlight.

When I studied 5th year at Hogwarts, I thought Harry Potter is the sun while I’m the moon because we are so different as the sun can’t shine during the night time, actually, it was me because he is so bright. No way how the moonlight win against the sunlight.

 

_25th October_

Today about 7 am. I wanted to read a newspaper that I had put it on the table but lazy to pick it up so I took my wand and said _Accio_ but nothing came.

When I was trying the sixth times, Jessica was coming in but I didn’t know because I concentrated in _Accio_.

‘Enough, Malfoy.’

I turned my head (back) to look at her, her face was seriously. I felt like I was standing at the border of mountain and will falling down soon, it seemed like in my room there was no air to breath.

Without her assuming, I know I lost my magic.

I've become a Squib.

That came faster than we thought. It hasn’t three months already!

After she went out, I spend my all day for crying, when I hadn’t cry, I would glared blankly at the ceiling, asking myself for what should I do next. 

In the evening, Jessica told me I had a visitor. I didn’t (have a mood) of smiling to anyone so I reject her but the next thing was a male voice, I never forget that voice.

‘I don’t come here to see you reject me, Draco.’

HARRY FUCKING POTTER.

I took a deep breath, kept my fucking imagine that I will run to him and hug him deeply or kiss him. I turned my head, he stood there, his hair was messy than the last time I saw, he was exhaust and his body was shaking a little bit.

‘What do you want from me? _Potter?_ and I can’t remember when you can call me _Draco_ ’

‘Oh, I can’t remember when you to call me _Potter_ too.’

Merlin! I want to kill him. He walked to me, his green eyes was seriously like when we had a fight and he said ‘Enough!’ even if I don’t want to accept but his eyes has an effect to stop me.

‘Draco Malfoy, I know you might think I’m crazy but the thing I wants to do and always wants is to spend my life with you, you are my first think when I woke up and the last before I sleep.’  
He took a deep breath.

‘Hermione asked me what I want to do with you, I’ve thought many days and my answer is you. The worst thing I can’t image i I don’t stand with you when you really need me.’

Without any clue, he was on his knee and took one of my hands. I felt the cold skin of something before he closed it. I opened my hand with astonished.  
Oh my god.

It was a beautiful sliver ring with the emerald green, our favorite gem. I know in that moment it was a proposal ring.

‘I want to marry you, Draco. Can you marry me?’

Oh, I won’t write here. It was so embossing. I can’t believe myself what I did after his proposal! However, I will tell you that I accepted his proposal and we will marry when I can go out for the hospital.

 

_3rd September_

Hi! I’m Mr. Draco Malfoy-Potter.

We made a deal that we won’t change our family name to each other so we mix it instead. Thanks this idea from Granger.

The church we married was a church in Godric’s Hollow, it is a little church so no many people will knows that his hero married with ex-death eater who will die in 9 months. Actually, we should marry four days ago but Harry and his friend especially Granger has to use a lot of encourage to supportive me that the idea of marrying Harry Potter wasn’t bad and that is what Harry Potter wants.

I had been thinking three days that I will never marry him. I can’t let to see he hurts because losing his important person, so I determined to move to France before he knows, but nothing can hide the smartest wizard in this century, Granger came in the time when I had packed the travel bag. She talked with me about half and two hours why Harry wants to marry me.

Well, I don’t want to accept but if she didn’t talk with me, I would not marry Harry.

In the wedding day, everything was going fine. There was his friend who joined but in my side I didn’t tell anyone except Blaise, Pansy and Jessica.

Pansy and Blaise noticed that I am skinner and my skin is pale as paper, including my unsteady walking and nystagmus. I lied her (that) I was tried.

Harry took me to Italy, the first place in our honeymoon. We will travel all Europe in 3 weeks.

See you after!

 

_15th September_

Our honeymoon is cancelled because of my illness.

My legs shake all the time and I’m too tired to walk in a long time without rest. Someday I couldn’t walk and hardly to breath, it made Harry had a determination to take me back to England.

Furthermore, I noticed that my skill of speaking is decreased, I can’t speak end of the sentences or speak slowly because it took me a lot of energy for speaking so I have to write instead when I have to talk a long sentence.

My parents knew I married and I have an illness. I don’t know how they can know but mother cried and told me she doesn’t want me to die while father didn’t say anything.

When Harry came back from work (I stay in hospital.) he told me he has a peculiar idea that the cause of my illness might come from a dark mark. From Harry research, why I can’t recover because this illness involved with the dark magic. So why dark mark can’t has dark magic inside?

Harry promised me he will find the ways to get rid of it, he told me how much he loves me and the future we could have had. It made me smile and gave me some hope I and he will make it come true.

 

_18th October_

When I saw Harry, he came with Granger, their face were lit in delight. It might be good news. And that true. Granger told me she found the way to heal my illness.

‘It must use a powerful wizard, and who can if Harry can’t?’

Harry took my arm, he pointed his wand to a dark mark and said magic which I never heard but it should be some powerful magic or dark magic.

The green beam from his wand was hold all a dark mark. Suddenly, my body was numb in that moment, my heart seems liked it forgot how to works when I saw there was something get out of it.

It was two sneaks.

Real sneaks.

I heard Harry spoken Parselmouth with the sneaks. I don’t know what he said but he looked so furious. The sneak had gone like it never be there. And my dark mark was gone too.

I sighed.

‘What happened? Harry?’

Granger asked, he glared at me one time then took her hand and walked out of the room. It made me angry because he should tell me _not her_

Then the two walked inside and tell me what the sneaks said, it said I can’t recover and I will die as soon as possible.

Harry encouraged me there was no way I will die because he and his friend will find others way, but my heart know the sneaks say the truth.

Anyway, my hand is shaking.

 

_15th December_

Long time no see.

I have a big project I want to do before I die so I didn’t give any attention to writing diary, I’m sorry.

See? My handwriting is so bad because I use two hands for write now. I can’t write by one hand anymore. 

Thanks. God.

I can’t use magic. I can’t speak. I can’t walk. I can’t write. 

So what would I can’t next? Maybe _can’t see_

When Harry goes to work, I’ll do it. It is very hard than I ever done before because I don’t have any chance to test. So I don’t will it good or not. But I think this is the last thing I can do for him. So I will do it. 

 

_1st January_

I can’t see anything clear. My eyes will be blind soon.

And it’s hard to write blind.

It’s hard to live.

The reason why I live is Harry Potter.

I don’t want to hurt him thus I’ve tried my best to conquer this fucking illness.

 

_5th January_

I begged Jessica to keep something at my piano.

I think you will like it.

It’s the last thing I can do for you.

Go to my flat and find it by yourself.

You’ll know how to find it.

 

_15th January_

I love you, Harry.

I fucking love you.

All my treasure, I give it to you, including my private account at Gringotts and my flat.

Please take care Murphy, I really love her.

And please move on.

Don’t turn to suicide.

Someday you can forget me, Harry. And you will find the one that will love you as I love, you will marry him/her and live happily after with your kids, If I remember correctly, you told me three or four.

You will grow up with them, teach them how to survive and give your eternal love to them. In the end you will thank god for everything that comes in your life.

 

_27th January_

I can’t write anymore.

 

 

 

 

_PRESENT DAY_

Harry took a deep breath and walked to the white gland piano in the living room. He sat in front of the piano and picked Draco’s diary, he read the last page again, Draco clearly told him that he had something special at the piano but whatever how much he had tried to looking for, nothing suspicious was there.

He tabbed keyboard without knowledge how to play a song, Draco had tried to teach him many times when they had been together before they broke up, but, Harry skill of music was so suck so after he can learn one song that Draco was very proud of it, Draco finally gave in. However, after he broke up, Harry never play it again, he thought he wouldn’t remember it but he could somehow.

Every rhythm reminds him of his blond man who passed away six months ago, Jessica told him Draco should given up and die a long time ago, but he didn’t. 

‘He tried to make something for you, Potter.’

Jessica gave Draco’s diary to him.

‘As soon as possible, you should read it.’

But Harry didn’t, he just had courage to read three days ago. 

The song was going on, it was beautiful and warmth like there was an angle who hugging him right here right now. He stopped playing and his eyes were blur because of water. Harry wiped it with shaking body.

Suddenly, he noticed something was under the piano, might be fallen from the hole of piano somewhere, he bended over to pick it up. It was a little present and a letter.

 

> To Harry,
> 
> Congratulation that you can play my song, I really happy and wish I can hear you play, I guess it might be the sweetest song I’ve heard, doesn’t it?
> 
> Well, I don’t forget your present. I begged Jessica to make a hold in my piano so when you finally play it you will receive my congratulation present suddenly, does it surprising you? And for my present, I think you will like it. It took me a long time to make so don’t you dare to throw it! If I know, I’ll kill you. 

Harry stopped to read, he unwrapped the present, it was a little white piano music box.

> I know you might be very sad, I really don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to die but the truth is god doesn’t give us a choice, so I have to accept.
> 
> If you asked me why I make a music box, because I think when you sad, you can play it and think about me. At least, it will help you somehow.
> 
> When you read this again, are you having someone else? Do you have kids? Are you happy? yet, I want you to smile for your family because family is the best thing that we can have. Same love that you gave me, Harry. I always happy when I think of the future we could have had, it makes me smile and it becomes this song.
> 
> Harry’s serenade.
> 
> Sometimes, Harry, the question is not why we were born, instead it is who are we here for? And you are the reason why I’m living.
> 
> Thank you for everything, Harry, and please don’t stop smiling because your smile is the thing I love about you. Please don’t cry because of me, Please take good care of yourself.
> 
> Thank you for walking into my life and telling me what love is –
> 
> Draco Malfoy

 

Harry played the music box, it was the same song that Draco had tried to teach him. The sound that was passed to him through the little white piano music box made him body numb and his heart was hurting so much. All the memories of Draco flashed back in his head, his voice, his kisses, his eyes, everything about him.

Tears dropped from his emerald eyes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very welcome. You may leave them here or over at [Livejournal](http://hd-remix.livejournal.com/89925.html).


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